WHAT ARE YOU DOING TODAY?

It is the 4th of July and it feels confusing to be celebrating. Have no doubt, I am grateful for the freedoms I enjoy as a person with privilege living in America. There is much to be proud of about our country, but there is also much to grieve and be angry about. I have a safe home, health care, food, and the right to vote, protest, and speak out. But many people do not, cannot, and are afraid to. How do I celebrate our nation’s birthday when I know we are devastatingly divided as a country and the current administration is fueled by the very opposite of what I believe in – respect, truth, kindness, fairness, accountability, justice, peace, etc. etc. ?? I am not alone in this. My email inbox is full of newsletters and essays about the complexities of this day, this year. The fear, anger, and sadness runs deep, and for many it has been this way always. Fairness, opportunity, and justice has been denied to many since way before the first “all men are created equal” was written down.

But I can only write what I know. I can only tell you how it is for me. That is what this blog has always been about. I don’t write today as a widow. I write as a human in a very challenging world who has experienced loss, love, healing, illness, fear, frustration, closed doors, opened doors…you get the picture. I am alive in a complicated world, like you. The human experience is painful and beautiful. I am lucky that I am free to write my truth.

So how will I celebrate? What will I celebrate?

My daughter called this morning on her way to an outing with her little one. I could hear my grandchild chatting in the background, trusting and loved, she was echoing her mom saying hello. They were heading out to spend the morning exploring because my daughter woke with that heavy sad feeling of worry about the planet, humanity, and the future for her child. I hear you I said. I am right there with you. She is choosing today, and all days, to focus on raising a compassionate, curious, resilient, empathetic, strong, and secure child. That’s love in action.

And because of love I choose today, and everyday, to do three things: protest, offer kindness, and celebrate. It was a long cold winter, literally and figuratively, and these three things helped me get through.

I protest against all that this administration represents. Need I say more? You know what I am talking about. But who I protest for is personal. I protest for my deceased father, who fought in WWII, against fascism. He was a kind, fair, generous, and respectful man devoted to democracy. He would be disgusted. I protest for my mom, who is 93 (and goes to protests with her friends!) who was born in Nazi Germany. She can speak for herself, but I am adding my voice to her chant for our rights. I protest for my first husband, beloved Rachid, who came to the United States on a J-1 visa from Algeria. He spoke no English and five years later had a PHD in Civil Engineering. His work as an engineer with universities, government DOTS, and private companies, in America and overseas, helped many. What if he had not been allowed to study here?

I protest for my friend who works full time as a special needs teacher and spends her spare time advocating for her children who have their own mental health struggles. I protest for my friend who is home resting after chemo. I protest for my sister in law who died this year after years of illness and demand that funding not be cut to research and medical care. I protest for people in recovery who are just trying to get to the next day. I protest for the disabled who are dependent on services for their care.

I protest for my children and grandchildren. They deserve clean air, clean water, a healthy planet, freedom to choose, freedom to be who they are, read what they want, and live without the threat of war, and so much more. They did not make this mess.

I protest because I can.

I choose to love even though there are days when the anger wants to win. Call a friend, cook a lasagna for someone who needs it, send a note, smile at the cashier, hug those close to you, whatever. Just do it.

I choose to celebrate the millions of people who are rising up. I celebrate the hard work of many to organize and provide outlets. I celebrate the brave ones who are at risk everyday. I celebrate the coming together despite the forces that are intentionally trying to pull us apart.

So today, posting this on my blog is my protest, my act of love, and my way to celebrate.

What are you doing today? Happy 4th.